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PART III: 10 Effective Tips to Handle Aggression Among Special Needs Teens
Best practices for our Special Needs Teens.
Special needs children face unique challenges as they transition from childhood to adulthood. Several layers of changes occur, including new responsibilities and expectations in both school and life. They also experience physical, emotional, and hormonal changes that may cause them to feel more stress during this period of time. Developing appropriate behaviors to respond to this new stage takes time for our special needs teens.
While teenagers may enjoy a lot of independence, your special needs child may not get freedom like the other teens. For instance, they may be unable to drive. The realization may leave them frustrated, lonely, and most probably aggressive. Like other teens, they may feel lost and do not fit in. They may also be uncomfortable with people treating them differently. All these feelings, among other factors, can cause them to feel inadequate and may lead to aggression.
How to Handle Aggression Among Special Needs Teens
1. Minimize Negative Attention:
Please don’t pay too much attention to your teen’s areas of growth but rather highlight their areas of strength in your thoughts. Instead, substitute it with a positive direction emphasizing and modeling best behaviors. Use rewards and other motivations to encourage good behavior instead. It’s best to treat the day typically on tough days and allow time in between so big emotions can settle. After a few days, revisit a tough moment with a new perspective.
2. Give Space:
Special needs teens need space to find their own way. Giving a way to take appropriate risks will strengthen self-esteem and open room for your teen to reach out to you as a parent. Your child wants to participate in what others do, but many have limitations, which is okay. While they might not do everything like other teens, there is still much to enjoy during the teen years.
3. Uphold Fairness:
“Live so that when your children think of love, fairness, integrity, and tenderness, they think of you.”
Anonymous
The concept of fairness is fundamental among adolescents with special needs. Most of the time, they feel unjustly treated, especially when given random discipline. Random discipline causes them a lot of anger since they feel that other people cause what happened to them. When setting rules, set logical consequences for breaking them so your child can feel responsible for what happened.
4. Consider Early Intervention:
Do your best to ensure your teen’s behavior doesn’t get out of control. Once the behavior gets out of control, it maximizes your child’s chances of being aggressive. In most adolescents, aggression develops slowly, meaning you can catch it early and prevent it from getting out of control. Big emotions for a long period of time typically lead to big outbursts.
5. Avoid Power Struggle:
You and your child can trigger each other’s emotions and fears. A power struggle is when you give your child a request, and they say “NO!” You go ahead and insist, but they still refuse to act on the request! In a power struggle, you argue with your child, and if you don’t calm down, it builds up anger. This is a perfect moment to exercise a “PAUSE” button, move away, allow dust to settle, and revisit the big moment in about three days.
6. Let your child have a voice!
The best way your child can reduce their anger and aggression outbursts is by giving them a platform to express themselves. Encourage them to speak out or communicate their opinions, sources of anger, negative feelings, or whatever angers them, but in a respectful manner. Guiding expression of opinion allows room to hear everyone’s thoughts involved. Remember, complaints and requests are expressions of raw emotions, and they trust you.
7. It is Okay to Compromise:
There are instances when your child will make requests or moves you don’t support. In such instances, consider how this will affect them and others and create a situation where a compromise is reached. Ensure they are comfortable with the final decision even when you have not fully complied with their direction.
“Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate.”
Anonymous.
8. Stabilize their Environment:
Special needs teens who experience destabilization of their environment due to remarriage, divorce, or separation are highly likely to develop aggression. Different children express anger and resentment uniquely. Encourage your child to express their feelings and anger before working to stabilize their environment. If they question your decision, such as remarriage or divorce, take time to discuss and explain it to them.
9. Ignore Passive-Aggressive Behavior:
Some of the stubbornness, opposition, and resistance, among other passive-aggressive behaviors you receive from your teenager, are meant to trigger your reaction or anger. The more you ignore such behaviors, the less likely they will repeat them. Sometimes, dealing with passive-aggressive behaviors only results in the accruement of more anger. For example, if you ask your special needs teen to do something, and they are doing it while whining the entire time, ignore the whines since they are complying.
10. Do Activities that Bring Your Family JOY!
With everyday life going on, it’s important to do things that bring joy to your family. It brings love and inspiration back to your day and changes any mood or emotions.
Related Questions
What is passive aggression?
Passive-aggressive behaviors involve a person acting indirectly aggressive instead of showing aggression directly. A passive-aggressive person will mainly resist instruction, requests, or demands by acting stubbornly, procrastinating, or expressing sullenness. This aggression may also be expressed through refusal to communicate, giving backhanded compliments, sulking, or withdrawing from people.
How should I deal with passive aggression?
Once you realize your child is expressing passive anger, do your best to manage your anger. You can point out your child’s reaction and behavior in a factual but non-judgmental manner. Most likely, people expressing passive aggression deny their anger. If that is the case, giving them space and time to work out their feelings is good.
Why is my 15-year-old daughter so aggressive?
Many factors can contribute to teen aggression. Some teens become aggressive because they can’t handle their emotions and stress. Other teens’ aggression results from mental health conditions, trauma, or pressures growing up. The most common causes of aggression among teens include
• Disability
• Low self-esteem
• Being a victim of bullying and harassment
• Family conflict
• Grief
• Divorce or family separation
• Substance abuse
• Death of a family member or friend
• Depression
“Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” ~ C.S. Lewis
PARTING SHOT:
It is usual for teenagers and parents to need support to nagivate teen life. When your child’s aggression increases and becomes constant, it can be heartbreaking, draining, and demanding.
At Kids on the Yard, we place much thought and support on special needs children. Our special needs tutors offer students personalized attention and the tools to succeed. When you work with us, we ensure that your child develops academically and socially and successfully handles and overcomes emotional challenges such as anger and frustration.
For more information, please call or SMS us at 844-902-4242. You can also visit our website at https://kidsontheyard.com/.
