Quotes about Funny

“It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.”

“Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.”

“Every hairstyle I have is funny because my barber is a standup comedian by the slightly unfortunate name of Paul Sweeney. His cuts are fantastic but the chats are even better.”

“My first gigs were at university: I'd dress up as Jesus, jump off a cross and dance to a Mick Jagger song. I don't know if it was funny or not, but it was a start.”

“The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.'”

“I'd rather not have a moment when I'm known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer.”

“A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.”

“She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.”

“Never take a solemn oath. People think you mean it.”

“Why does everyone think the future is space helmets, silver foil, and talking like computers, like a bad episode of Star Trek?”

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.”

“I used to work with autistic children, and they said a lot of funny things to me.”

“It seems like everybody's perception of me is very bipolar. To one group, it's overpaid, overrated; to another group, it's underpaid, underrated, underdog. It's funny to me because there's no real balance.”

“It's funny how most people love the dead, once you're dead, you're made for life.”

“Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy.”

“It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son.”

“Never have more children than you have car windows.”

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”

“I'm always thinking of stuff; I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along; if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.”

“The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.”

“My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.”