Quotes about Funny

“I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life.”

“If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.”

“I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.”

“Weather forecast for tonight: dark.”

“Society is like a stew. If you don't stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.”

“You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am.”

“One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.”

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.”

“Funny is an attitude.”

“I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.”

“It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.”

“I met Amy Winehouse a few times and she was always funny, charming and self-deprecating - just a delight to be around.”

“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”

“Success is a funny phenomenon, God knows how it works!”

“I truly think comedy is - being funny is DNA. My dad was a doctor, a wonderful doctor, and people still come up to me today, 'Your father helped my mother die.' You know what I'm saying? He made her laugh 'til she died. My father was always very funny.”

“I was just a goofy little funny kid, who was always getting sent to the principal. It wasn't serious because I was smart. I wasn't like a true troublemaker, just rambunctious - like, talkative and trying to be funny. That was me in middle-school.”

“I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary.”

“Comedy, your funny bone, is formed in childhood.”

“I'm a funny guy. I want people to laugh. I laugh at myself, I make fun of myself. But at the end of the day everything that I say has a message in it.”

“I run around my house naked with heels all the time. It's so funny.”

“I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do.”