Mark Twain

“It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.”

“There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.”

“There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.”

“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

“A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.”

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

“Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.”

“Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.”

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.”

“Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.”

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.”

“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”

“Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.”

“Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.”

“The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.”

“We have the best government that money can buy.”

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

“Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.”

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”