Steve Harvey

“I don't want people to see me fall. I mean, I got enough people cheering for me to fall now... The Internet has created some amazing place for evil to exist, you dig?”

“My color's not a crutch. See, funny crosses a lot of color barriers.”

“I had, like, 11 jobs. I've been fired 11 times! 'Cause I'm not cut for that. You know, I was a great employee, man. Everybody loved me coming to work - I'm singing, tellin' jokes on the assembly line. I was miserable, man. I was dying. I was dying.”

“You can take lessons to become almost anything: flying lessons, piano lessons, skydiving lessons, acting lessons, race car driving lessons, singing lessons. But there's no class for comedy. You have to be born with it. God has to give you this gift.”

“God lets you be successful because he trusts you that you will do the right thing with it. Now, does he get disappointed often? All the time, because people get there and they forget how they got it.”

“I'm going to take this God-given gift of being funny, and I'm going to spread it out like peanut butter on everything I do.”

“I got married for the wrong reasons. I was tired of being alone. I have to own that. It was me, not her.”

“I don't think it's cool for people to say, 'You shouldn't reference God because I don't believe that, and I don't want to hear it.' Well, there's a lot of stuff I don't believe that I still gotta hear.”

“All men can and will change. But there's only one woman we're going to change for.”

“Failure is a great teacher, and I think when you make mistakes and you recover from them and you treat them as valuable learning experiences, then you've got something to share.”

“When you're happy at home, you can make a lot of things happen.”

“My father instilled in me to take care of my family. Show up even when you don't want to show up.”

“There's a lot more to me than just funny.”

“How can smart women be so stupid about men sometimes? Lack of knowledge. It's what men have kept secret for so long.”