Bill Maher

“Men are only as loyal as their options.”

“Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.”

“Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'”

“If you think you have it tough, read history books.”

“Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.”

“The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'”

“Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?”

“This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.”