Roseanne Barr

“And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.”

“Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?”

“As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.”

“Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us?”

“I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.”