Lewis Grizzard

“It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.”

“Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.”

“You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'”

“Things are more complex today, and I think humor has changed a a great deal. People are more sensitive today.”

“I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.”

“Yankees don't understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.”